Mr. Rogers was right

Or at least his mom was. “Look for the helpers.”

I’ll be honest. I haven’t done much of that this week, but I have a really good reason. I don’t actually have to “look” for them. They’re everywhere. When I turn on my TV and see the horrible images, in the forefront of those images are the helpers. They’re not wearing capes. They don’t leap buildings in a single bound.

They apply pressure to the wounds. They carry victims into waiting ambulances. They scour neighborhoods searching for the monsters that the rest of us are hiding from.

The helpers make me smile and they bring tears to my eyes. They are the ones that comfort strangers with kind words and a warm embrace. They are like the gentleman from Sitka, Alaska, who gave his marathon medal to a woman he’d never met before who was just a half mile short of the finish line when the bombs went off.

The helpers are the ones who run toward danger when we are all running away. Some of those helpers perished in Boston and West, Texas this week.

For every bad guy, there are – I believe – millions of helpers. As this week of endless horrible news cycles comes to an end, I find myself comforted by all  the good that springs up when the unthinkable happens. That’s the unintended positive consequence of horrible intentions and actions.

Take that, bad guys.

I do, you do, we should all do

I don’t remember when I started to support gay marriage; but I imagine it was the first time I sat down and truly thought about it. I’ll be honest, I didn’t ponder homosexuality, let alone gay marriage when I was growing up in the Midwest. It was just not on my radar. Of course, after high school a few people I knew came out of the closet and then after college there were a few more. I didn’t think much of it. They were gay; I was not.

As I look back, I cannot imagine the strength it must have taken my peers in the early and mid ‘90s to let the world know the secret they’d been keeping. Some came from families and communities that probably do not accept them to this day. They probably lost some close friends – although. I would argue that those people weren’t really friends to begin with. I did not truly appreciate their revelations back then. I admire their strength now.

As far as the issue of gay marriage goes, I do not plan to argue with people about whether they “believe in it” or not, because it does not matter. This is not about anyone’s religious beliefs. This issue is about a contract – we happen to call it a marriage certificate – that is issued by the government for a fee.

I would imagine that those with deeply held religious beliefs see that government-issued contract for what it is and wouldn’t consider themselves truly married until a member of their clergy performed the ceremony.  So why not give equal access to that contract?

I would not expect the government to intervene to force houses of worship to marry gay couples. It would be a huge infringement of our religious liberty. So I do not think we should tolerate religious arguments to prevail when legislating the contract of marriage.

Gay marriage is an inevitability in this country. It is not a matter of if, but when. I read about the laws that were on the books in most states just a few decades ago that prohibited blacks and whites from marrying each other. They seem so archaic now. A part of our nation’s history that is embarrassing at best. I truly believe that my children and grandchildren will read about an America where loving couples of the same sex were not allowed to make their special commitment to one another official and they will see that as a relic of this country’s not always just past.

 When I get married, I will want to shout it from the rooftops and want everyone in my life to share in my happiness. I want my friends in the LGBT community to be able to do the same.