One Month

One month. It passed by pretty quickly. They all do. But this was our first month without Benji. I hadn’t realized that exactly one month ago today my family made one of the toughest decisions of our lives – to let Benji go.  And then I looked at the calendar and saw the date staring back at me.

I realize how we take time for granted. I’m busy now. I will visit my family, tomorrow. Or next week. Or next month. And then one day you turn around and the opportunities you took for granted – to see loved ones, to accomplish a goal – they’re gone.

Tonight I will be surrounded by loved ones who will gather around my table for Passover. There are plenty of family and friends whom I cherish, who will not be in attendance because of geography and other life obligations. But there will be a select few who mean the world to me who will be here.

I will cherish the time we spend together. I would have cherished it even if I had not been reminded on February 25 how fleeting life is. But because of that reminder I will be more appreciative and more grateful for the gifts I have been given.

One month ago today, I could barely breathe. Tonight I will celebrate an ancient holiday. In my mind though, that cup that’s reserved for Elijah, will be for Benji.

Ode to Benji

I wish I were more like my dog.

He possessed all the best qualities we look for in people. He was brave and protective, concerned and sensitive to our feelings. He loved with every bit of his being and never hesitated to shower us with affection. We always knew where we stood with him. He was neither passive nor aggressive. If his feelings were hurt, he let you know it, but was always quick to forgive and forget.

He was loyal to a fault. Stood by our sides through thick and thin. And he never seemed to notice if we did get a little thicker around the mid-section. Or if we had a bad hair day, a horrible outfit day or a really smelly because we finally went back to the gym day.

He was a wonderful family ambassador. He greeted and treated everyone like royalty, like they were special. And his generosity extended to all guests. He made sure to bring all who entered a toy as soon as they crossed the threshold of the family home so they would all know just how welcome they were.

He loved a good party and mingled with all the invitees. A house full of visitors was a happy home as far as he was concerned. And if he happened to be center of attention, well isn’t that what the life of the party is for?

When we were under the weather he was at our side, providing comfort and moral support, letting us know that as long as we seemed down for the count, he was too. And when he grew ill, he remained dignified and grateful for all the care that we provided, even if – in the end – it just wasn’t enough. He was so much stronger than his small stature would make it seem possible. So brave in the face of what was to come.

And he was wiser than us. I believe he knew the end was close before we did. And even as that end neared, he seemed to do everything he could to make that oh so horrible time easier on us.

Yes, I wish I could be more like Benji, because if I was, if all of us were, this world would be a much better place.